My article for an infertility newsletter

The Day that Changed my Life Forever

By Rachel Sansing

February 4, 2010, was the day that changed my life forever. On that day, I received an email from my youngest brother encouraging me to let go and let God. He knew I wanted to completely surrender my desire to have children to God, but I did not know how. I asked God to show me, and He quickly did through my brother’s email in which he attached a song by Christian artist, Ginny Owens, called “If You Want Me To”. As soon as I heard the first note of the song, I began to weep. I had heard this song a thousand times, but the words never meant anything to me until now. I knew at that moment that God was not necessarily asking me to give up my desire, but wanting to see if I was “willing” to walk through the valley of infertility if that was His will. I sincerely made this song the cry of my heart that day. Ten days later, on Valentine’s Day, my prayers were answered. How special was that! God chose to bless me on a day designed specifically for celebrating love!

February also marked a year since my husband and I stopped infertility treatments. We praise the Lord that we were able to conceive our child with no medical help. We prayed that God alone would receive all the glory and He did! After all, He is the giver of life. We will be forever grateful for “our gift”.

My prayer is that the words of this song will be a source of encouragement to you like they were to me. There is a verse in the song that says “I am not who I was when I took my first step”, and all praise goes to God that I am not the woman that I was three and a half years ago when I started this infertility journey. I am happy to say that this trial has brought me closer to God, showing me to be thankful in ALL things, even infertility. The Bible says in James 1:2-4 to “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

"If You Want Me To”

by Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken

And the signs are unclear

And I don’t know the reason why You brought me here

But just because You love me the way that You do

I’m gonna walk though the valley

If You want me to.

Chorus:

Cause I’m not who I was

When I took my first step

And I’m clinging to the promise You’re not through with me yet

So if all of these trials bring me closer to you

Then I will walk through the fire

If You want me to.

It may not be the way I would have chosen

When you lead me through a world that’s not my home

But You never said it would be easy

You only said I’d never be alone

So when the whole world turns against me

And I’m all by myself

And I can’t hear You answer my cries for help

I’ll remember the suffering Your love put You through

And I will go through the valley if You want me to.